Why is this happening? Why did You let this happen? You could have stopped it, healed her, cured him, saved me from this pain. But You didn’t. Why?
In the silence, I look at the whys whirling in the storm. Why is the key to understanding. Why will bring me peace or comfort. Why will inject reason and logic into my circumstance. I can’t get through this without an answer. Why didn’t You work a miracle?
But God doesn’t answer. The storm rages and the whys spin up into a hurricane. Pain, confusion, anger, bitterness, and fury pound upon me. WHY! I scream at God, demanding an answer. Insisting on some explanation that I can cling to. Why didn’t You move this mountain? Why didn’t You keep Your promise to heal, protect, and provide? I know You could have, but You DIDN’T!
Why weren’t You there when I needed You most? I continue hurling my whys into the strengthening storm. I hurt so much, the growing hurricane is my only companion. It understands and reflects my pain.
“I Love You.”
I barely hear the gentle whisper that glides through the winds and above the roaring waves. I brush it away. That’s not what I asked. That doesn’t answer my question.
If you love me, why is this happening?
“I Love You.”
This time it makes me angry. “NO, YOU DON’T!” I yell back.
“I Love You.”
His persistence is annoying. “I don’t care,” I mumble into my tear-stained pillow. I need to know why.
“Why,” He gently responds with my own question.
Now You’re asking me why? I’ll tell you why. Because knowing why will make me feel better. Understanding why You let this happen will make it bearable. Why is the key to my healing. And You’re keeping it from me. You are keeping me in this state of despair when you can simply tell me why and set me free!
“I Love You.”
Great, this again. Fine. You love me. But that’s not my question, I know you love me. The question is why.
In the swirling winds, my mind connects the two thoughts, “Why do You love me?” I take hold of this new why. Finally, a question I can answer. You love me because You are my Father. You love me because You are my Savior. You love me because You are love. Jesus loves me, this I know, for my soul confirms it’s so.
“I Love You.”
This time the Word flows around me, wrapping me in His arms. Creating a cocoon that muffles the storm. The pain still claws and rips at my heart. Tears still stream down my face. But I’m not alone. I’m in the arms of the God who loves me. I’m engulfed by the Spirit who feels my pain, takes my heartache upon Himself, and weeps with me.
“I Love You.”
I look once more at the whys I hold in my hands, the keys to my healing, and see the truth. They are not keys, but chains. Even if God answered each why, I would grieve no less. The pain would be just as great. I finally understand that why will not bring healing or comfort or peace. But God’s love does.
Jesus loves me. He holds me. He carries me. His love transcends the storm—rises above my need for logic and reason and simply holds onto me even when I’m throwing insults and accusations at Him. He understands. He’s been here before. He’ll be here each time because He never leaves me nor forsakes me.
“I Love You.”
I feel this truth sink deep into my soul as the storm loses a bit of its intensity. I close my hand around the chain of whys and think, “I should let these go.”
“But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”
Psalm 131:2 (ESV)
Friend, if you are enduring a season of pain, suffering, and grief. Let me assure you that you are not alone. Others have gone before you, others will come after you, and God is right there with you. There are few words that can offer comfort at our darkest moments. But I have found that God’s love can saturate our hearts even when they are broken, bitter, angry, and crying out for answers.
Trust Him with your pain. Trust Him with your anger. Trust in His love, strength, and grace. His love will carry you through.
Father, thank you for always being near. Thank you for your unfailing love, your patience, understanding, and grace. Hold us close when the pain of this world overwhelms our souls. Help us run to the shelter of your wings when storms threaten to destroy us. We don’t understand this pain, we don’t know why suffering, loss, and hurt come upon us. We know you will never abandon us, and even when we feel alone, You are always with us. Thank you for loving us through the darkness and for the healing only You can provide. In Jesus name, Amen.
Spread the spark of hope everywhere you go,
Michelle
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I want to follow Jesus! How do I get started?
“This is how we know that we live in Him and He in us: He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.
1 John 4:13-15
If you are ready to join the family of God, simply believe and ask. You can choose your own words or pray the prayer below. God hears your heart, simply confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and let the Spirit lead you.
“Father, I want to be yours. Forgive me of my sins. I believe that you sent Your Son, Jesus Christ, to die in my place. I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior and thank you for the gift of salvation through Him. I invite the Holy Spirit into my heart and surrender my life to You. In Jesus name, Amen.”
Feel free to spend time just talking to God and sharing your heart with Him. Let Him speak to you and listen as He leads you forward into new life. Welcome to the family.
Need to talk or have questions? Feel free to reach out and contact me.